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You'd been at work all day long. Tie and briefcase and shiny, leather shoes, scrubbed and polished with that shit your wife got you on Saturday. Black polish. Promised to have that classic spit polished shine every man was after and everything else you could ever dream.

Sitting on the MRT just looking at them. They shine so nicely. Like your beautiful wife that was almost a trophy, but so much more valuable. Like the combined smiles of your twin sons. Like your daughter's black, black eyes.

Life's easy. Just running the family business, as usual, isn't it? You get off at your stop and wonder why everyone's always in such a hurry, almost running for those escalators when they finally penguin waddle push their way out of the subway car with a practiced frantic ease that you can almost taste in the back of your throat.

Like the drip of a smell.

Shoe polish in the windpipe.

I'm standing by the light change, surrounded on all sides by a sea of faceless people that just don't care that they have no eyes to see out of. I'm peering over heads, even though I'm the average height of a male in Hong Kong. Peering up at the light to see when we're to go, and I think of you.

"Daddy! Don't hold my hand, I can walk on my own!"

"Zhen-Zhen, don't be so hard! Your daddy just doesn't want you to be stolen away!"

"But who would steal a little girl, daddy?"

"Anyone, Zhen-Zhen. Especially you. Because you're the most precious little girl in the world."



You shake your head and the light turns green. The people start moving, blurring forward into motion, sweeping you up in the rush hour wave of get home, get home, get home, eat, sleep, and awaken tomorrow for another day that's exactly the same, the same, the same. You buff your nails on your jacket, lick your old man tongue across your old man gums and teeth, squint your catarac-prone eyes and step off the curb with your pretty black spit polished shoes, tapping your way across the road with the hive drones around you.

Mindless.

Voiceless.

Soulless.

"Daddy! Daddy! I learned a new song! Listen to me play!"

"Zhen-Zhen, you know I'm busy..."

"I learned it just for you! It'll only take a few minutes! I practiced really really hard. Please daddy?"

"...you make your daddy so proud, Zhen-Tong."

"I try my hardest, daddy!"



Your shoes click like hooves along the sidewalk, one hand in your pocket and the other on your briefcase, whistling a quaint foreign tune. What was it, again? The Lady is a Tramp. Sinatra? You always did love old jazz and showtunes. And you always shared your love.

Your daughter's voice was beautiful. It was just meant to be.

"I'll sing you a song if you say you love me!"

"Haha, fine, Zhen-zhen. Your daddy loves you more than anything in the world."

"Daddy, you're the best!"

"Sing, sing--"

"April played a fiddle, and my heart began to dance
And I was so surprised to find my arms around romance.
April played a fiddle and I memorized the tune
And later on, a dream and I went singing to the moon.
Then May began to gossip, and June just winked her eye,
And you should have seen the know-it-all expression on July.
April played a fiddle, ah but here's the funny part,
I had to pay the fiddler with my one and only heart."

"Good, good, Zhen-tong!"

"Daddy. Play me a song, play me a song! I want to be as good as you someday!"

"You will, be Zhen-Zhen. You'll be as good as me-- and better."



A rock in the road. You trip but you don't fall. Real men never fall, even if they stumble. A real man would never be forced to his knees by something so small.

The ailing, center road between the row of houses is almost incomprehensibly uneven, sloping to a v in the middle where water collects like the pooling of liquid in a dead man's limbs, darkening the fingertips and the extremities to a blood purple consistency that's rather unsightly, if you really think of it that way. The rain water run off collects there-- Hong Kong save the drainage system here. It never worked properly, to keep the streets one hundred percent clean. Even if the trash got picked up and thrown away, it never really went anywhere. And that's all that really mattered. Where things ended up. Either here or there or back where they started.

A drop of rainwater hits you in the forehead, trickles over your lined, creased eye, and into the corner of slightly sagging, but still firm, lips. A strong line, a strong jaw, and a strong continence. You wipe it away like it's nothing.

"Daddy, why does it rain?"

"Because someone's crying, Zhen-zhen."

"Why are they crying?"

"Because someone, somewhere, is very, very sad. So sad that the sky feels their tears and their pain and their hardship-- so sad that the sky can't help but weep at their side."



The last strains of Mendelsohn concerto in D minor are in your ears. Your daughter had been playing it just for fun and she played it so beautiful with just the right amount of emotion and the technical skill of an obsessive compulsive mastermind.

She was always so determined to be the best.

You were always so proud of her.

The front door of your house is mahogany-- lacquered with a deep, red stain that brings out the naturally tinted grain in the wood. Red was a lucky colour, after all. Three windows over your head and a lucky spirit ward pasted to the door, to keep out the bad spirits, the bad luck, the bad vibes, bad people, bad mental state, disease, sickness, ill will, evil.

Everything.

You regard the patterns with a practiced ease that just stinks of I see this everyday, and everyday I'm happier to be here. And really, you are. You've a beautiful family, a steady job, a good home, everything a man could ask for.

Nothing could go wrong.

"Bai-jyu! Bai-jyu!" What are you cooking that smells so awful?

You slip your shoes off and you step onto the hardwood of the living room floor and make your way into the kitchen.

You don't notice that there's standing liquid until your socks are soaked through.

"Momma! Momma! I wanna help you cook!"

"You're such a helpful little girl! But momma's job is to cook right now, and your job is to do your homework~!"

"I want to help you!"

"Get me a cup of water then, Zhen-zhen... silly girl."



It's hard to see through the smoke at first, but when you do, you realize.

Gunshot. Blood splatters. And your wife, slumped over the stove, face stuck to one of the burners by way of melted skin.

You don't even rush over to pull her off. You know it's already too late.

Calmly, very, very, very calmly in your heather grey blood red socks, you walk over, place your briefcase on the counter, and pull your beautiful wife and her roasted face away from the stove with a force that could be described as firm. Or maybe strained? Perhaps both. Stiff muscles combat the dead weight of a woman's body and gently, gently, very gently you place her on the now-red-grouted tile, shutting beautiful eyes that somehow went unaffected by the grill marks of a ruined, bloody cheek.

"Mommy! Daddy! I love you!"

"Go, go, you'll be late for the recital!"



Calm, bloody fingers reach for the stove. Off position. It's amazing that the fire alarm isn't going off. And then? Click.

It slides into place, like the slide of a beretta inox packing hollowpoints right into your wife's pretty back.

"Zhen-Tong!!" She was the most important, after all. Your beautiful daughter. Your beautiful heir. "Fei!! Die-Yi!!" Your twin sons. Almost as important, but somehow, lacking. Your calm shatters like a frozen skull dropped from four stories too high, scattering liquid nitrogen brain matter in every direction, skidding across the sidewalk.

"ZHEN-TONG."

Up the stairs, three at a time and at the top?

"...I'm fine, father."

The calmest, most pristine voice that could've ever answered.

"Zhen-Tong!"

"I fell off my bike! My knees bleeding!"

"Shh, are you okay? Are you hurt badly?"

"...I'm fine, daddy."

</font>

"Thank--" One corner, turned. "--...gods..."

Your pristine, calm daughter stroking the hair of both fifteen year old twins. It was almost a relief.

Until the blood came into focus.

And the exit wounds registered.

And everything went wrong, wrong, horribly wrong.

Perhaps the most unnerving part was the looks on their faces. Completely bereft of all fear, of all pain, of everything. The demeanor of understanding. A sense of warmth, of security, of trust.

The most unnerving part is that you can tell that they agreed to die. To power the succession of an heir.

Are you still proud of your little girl?

There's a shift, a click, and the girl's on her feet, stepping forward with the inox in her hand.

A rock in the road. You trip and, this time, you fall. Real men never fall, even if they stumble. A real man would never be forced to his knees by something so small.

It was like begging. It was like praying. It was like closing your eyes and letting the water fall down.

"Zhen... Zhen... Why...?"

"You'll be the best someday, Zhen-zhen."

"Only because of you, daddy!"



"I want to watch you play violin~"

"Why's that, Zhen-zhen?"

"So I can learn to be just like you!"



"You're a natural shot, Zhen-Tong."

"I must've inherited it from you."


"Bedtime, Zhen-zhen! Sing your song and I'll come tuck you in!"

"Put your dreams away for another day
And I will take their place in your heart
Wishing on a star never got you far
And so itís time to make a new start

When your dreams at night
Fade before you
Then Iíll have the right
To adore you~"

"That's my girl!"

"YEEK!! Daddy! No tickles!!"



"Tell me a story before I go to sleep, daddy."

"You have school tomorrow, and it's already late."

"Then sing me a song, daddy. I want to hear your voice in case one of us doesn't wake up in the morning."
</i>



...
You knew it was coming.
You should've seen it.
You trained her for this.
You should've known.
You taught her everything she knows.

And now...?

Game. Over.



"...why, daddy?"

C L I C K.



"...Because I am my father's daugher."

I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. </i>The narrowing of eyes in teenage sockets.Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. </i>The tensing of tendons.I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. </i>The tensing of spirits.I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry.</i> The tensing of resolve. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. H E S I T A T I O N. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me.</i>Deep.  I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>Breath. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. </i>In. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>And you resign yourself. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. </i>Do it. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>Motherfucking DO IT. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry.</i> ...your eyes set the challenge-- I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>--and she can't back down. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Your my daughter. My daughter. My fucking daughter. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you.Do me fucking proud. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you.</i> Her face falls. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>She learns how to breathe underwater.I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. </i>She squeezes the trigger.I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i>...and kisses her daddy goodnight.I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'll miss you.</i> B A N G Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll miss you. Forgive me. </i> Fall. I'm sorry.</i> Reel. I'll miss you. </i> Roll.Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me.</i>And you smile. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you. Forgive me. I'm sorry.</i> Even through the haze of crimson red heat flashes and white out dissociation.



Why?

...because you're so... so... prou...d.........





"... I love you, daddy."

......................................................

"I want to be just like you when I grow up, daddy."
"Be patient, Zhen-zhen. You're still young. You have a long ways to go."
"I want you to be proud of me. I want to be everything for you."
"Zhen-tong... you have been, you are, and you always will be."

"...daddy?"




"...Shh. I'm already proud of you."

......................................................



It might be karma.
Or it might just be bad luck.

My mother is upset that this business destroyed our family.
My brothers, they don't understand. But it's okay.
They were young. I didn't expect them to.
Even if they said yes.
And my father?

...

Well.

My father is proud.




...I am my father's daughter, and I will never, ever fade.

04.

PLEASE VIEW THE PIECE HERE :: [link]

There's formatting that dA doesn't pick up, so to get the full effect of the piece, it's best seen at that URL. Thank you!! :heart:

I can interpret myself. But what does that mean to you?
Add a Comment:
 
:icontheonetruefish:
theonetruefish Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student General Artist
The psychological aspects of this are incredibly fascinating. There isn't a good vocabulary on this earth to which I can articulate quite how wonderfully this was written. The emotion displayed through your structures and characters is very strikingly intense. One of the things I really like is the repeated lines of the man tripping or falling to "something so small" when his child, someone so small, could make him fall to his knees. Incredibly well done, I hope you don't mind one more favourite?
Reply
:iconmioka-o1:
Mioka-o1 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2010
it looks way better in the link you posted.
to me it means .... not much i would say?
i can relate to being daddys girl but iīm much more like my mother..... its a odd storry with odd twists and turns and i wonder just what it is thats standing between the lines because i cant find it.
it makes me melancholic to read it and i love the feeling it leaves because its such a sad one.
Reply
:iconlastielrusc:
LastielRusc Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
.... it means nothing to me, I rarely am able to get my Dad to talk to me, let alone get any kind of 'good job' from him.

Mom, say's I'm my Father's Daughter, she sees so much of him in me. Ha, we're so similar we don't even talk to each other... oh well it doesn't matter.

Beautiful piece by the way.
Reply
:iconmegrh:
MegRH Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2008
*gasp*
:-O
Reply
:iconstrevis:
Strevis Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2007
aww, man, why haven't I read this before?
*shudders* the part where it kept repeating "Forgive me. I love you. I'll miss you. I'm sorry." chilled me to the bone! Your writing is amazing!
Reply
:iconeffervescentfx:
effervescentfx Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2007
omg...I don't even know what to say.
just...incredible.
Reply
:iconhenour:
Henour Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006
Amazing
Reply
:iconvhiddenawayv:
VHiddenAwayV Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2006
wonderful effects with the linked version.

totally wasn't expecting where this ended. lol.

way cool.
Reply
:iconshinta110590:
shinta110590 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2006   Traditional Artist
this is amazing i also felt tears when reading this you are extremly talented write books publish them believe me they will sell.
Reply
:iconfontine:
fontine Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2006
Wow, this was an incredible piece of writing.
Reply
:iconsereda:
Sereda Featured By Owner May 21, 2006
I'm just blown away by this! :D
I sorta thought I could write. Now? *shrugs* I think I'm gonna have to go and reassess. Absolutely beautiful writing. So glad I found this. Hard to put into words the emotion that this stirs up. Wonderful!
Reply
:iconalekaxrequiem:
AlekaXRequiem Featured By Owner May 9, 2006   Photographer
I love the icon pic at the top, whats the red thing going towards the nurse? is it a morphine drip?
Reply
:iconstrangestone:
StrangestOne Featured By Owner May 7, 2006  Student Filmographer
Whoa,
This piece,
Is absolute genius!
The concrete imagery if phenomenal,
You can see the mother’s cheek intertwined with the stove burner,
Very well written,
I love it <3
I must add this to my favourites!
Reply
:iconannabellachronos:
AnnabellaChronos Featured By Owner May 6, 2006
How could I understand something so complex? I'm just a simple mind...
Reply
:iconjasato:
jasato Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2006
my comment showed up as Anonymous...namely cause I don't have an LJ account, but I left a signature of some sorts, -J as I do for most.


I have to admit...just read the comment, and you'll understand my feelings ;)
Reply
:iconperceptiontwin:
perceptiontwin Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2006
and to think that some of the well-renowned authors can't write half as well as you..... awesome story.
Reply
:iconnyapinette:
Nyapinette Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2006
I know that's late, but I wanted to congratulate you for this text.
It has the same feeling as your artworks, and I really like it. I love the way you turn horrible subjects into an absolutely beautiful piece of art.

So...I am french and I tried to translate this text in french. Because I wanted french-speaking people to read this text too. I hope you're okay with that. I promise I tried to stay as close as I could from the original.
My english is not perfect at all, I understand it quite well but I can't speak it ^^;
Sorry about that.

Anyway, I hope you'll keep up the good work, because you are very talented.
Reply
:iconnyapinette:
Nyapinette Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2006
I posted it in a french forum
Here it is : [link]

I'm kinda satisfied with the result n _n

But I'm not sure about the "Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'll miss you." part o _o
Because I don't know of it is the daughter or the father that is speaking in this part. To translate it in french, I had to make a choice about that. I guess it goes with my own interpretation of your text n_n
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:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
I'd like to see it when you're done, ne.

thank you. :o
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:icondarkestmidnight:
darkestmidnight Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2005
This is amazing, suffocating, enthralling, mesmerizing work. Truly astounding. I love your style and the hidden text is very powerful. :+favlove:

Brilliant.
Kim
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:iconsykotikfangurlkuri:
sykotikfangurlkuri Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2005  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow... You're a really incredible writer. I envy your talent.
Reply
:iconkoneko-kio:
Koneko-Kio Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005
that was beautiful. sad, but beautiful. :clap:
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:icontkemeawy:
tkeMeAwy Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2005   Writer
First time read & I like..
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:iconhearmeroarrawr:
hearmeroarrawr Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2005
i found that kinda confusing i didnt really get it.... ^^;;; i still liked it but i found it hard to concentrate (sp?)
Reply
:iconkuroneko-luna:
kuroneko-luna Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2005   General Artist
it is sad...and amazing..and lovely..and i haven't read anything that was this good in a very long while. *smiles* love it.
Reply
:icongwaboevilman:
gwaboevilman Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2005   Writer
my midnight depression has lifted, and only tears remain. (did she have a cat? did she soot the cat too?)
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:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
No, and anything about cats is completely irrelevant to the piece. >>;;;;;
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:iconflamingaura:
FlamingAura Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2005
Wow. My eyes are hurting either from the looking at the screen to much or holding in tears, I don't know. If it were made into a movie I'd watch it millions of times. Inspired and choking in emotion after each one. I really luv your writing. Inspiring.
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:icontadbit-lonely:
TadBit-Lonely Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2005
I have a feeling that I should have read something else before this... but it was utterly amazing... It.. Just wow... I have so many mixed emotions about this piece--not all of them pleasant, but they aren't bad feelings.. just.... Wow.. I'm so.. envious... You're so talented.. This was so beautiful in a twisted way... (I hope you take 'twisted' as a compliment because it was meant as one ^^; )

Oh, but I do have a question... Why is this in the poetry section? There's a fiction/non-fiction prose section where this could find a comfy home, ne?

Mmm.. beautiful piece, regardless of where it's located... :sushi: :+favlove:
Reply
:icontadbit-lonely:
TadBit-Lonely Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2005
Well I've sure learned something new today. *writes down the prosepoetry thing somewhere* And I did read your LJ version ^-^; Very effective way to do it.. :heart:
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:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
It's a standalone piece recounting the history of one of my muses. :heart: So it wasn't necessary for it to be read with background, so to speak.

I placed it in poetry because most of my work actually classifies as prosepoetry. If you read the version that's on LJ, you'll see that half of the work is writing, and half of it's effectiveness lies in the formatting. When it comes down to that, it's usually classified as prosepoetry, since there's more to the work than the actual text. :heart:
Reply
:iconcookie-zombie001:
cookie-zombie001 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2005
Ya know it's good when it gives you that shudder up your spine. Nice delivery, maximum impact, damn your good ^^
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:iconpheonixreborn:
PheonixReborn Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2005
damn you work scares me sometimes - probably why everone loves it so much
* adds to favourites immediately *
Reply
:iconfrosty-raven:
frosty-raven Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2005
My god mythchan! This was amazing, brilliant, disturbing and utterly ahhh words in this language can't describe it's mastery. But I'll have you know that I loved this.
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:iconmooducki:
MOOducki Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2005   Traditional Artist
very emotional, something you seem to've accomplished for everyone whos taken the time to read it. alas, i did not cry, but its put me into some odd unfamiliar mood? sad, and lovely.
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:iconxujing:
xujing Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2005   Photographer
hm, very interesting indeed
Reply
:iconashleyweirdo:
ashleyweirdo Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2005
It's..............it's so sad. I love it, it's extremely well-written! I want to leav a longer more detailed comment, but i can't really think of anything to say. It made me cry. I really like it, although it's so depressing, i really really really like it.
Reply
:iconfayte-de-desespoir:
Fayte-de-Desespoir Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
this is very good. you are a very talented person...you know that? :)
Reply
:iconcatziwhitten:
CatziWhitten Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
Adds to favorties ... I'm glad I took the time to read this.
Reply
:iconhokuto:
hokuto Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
blkrmlkmdv.

Your writing makes me unable to breathe. It seems to be a good thing.
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:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
You should write with me. So I can, like, suffocate you. xDD j/k About the suffocating. Not about the... yeah. xD I'm glad you get something from my writing though. ;o; :heart:
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:iconhokuto:
hokuto Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
........ *starts suffocating at very thought of honor of writing with you* :heart: !!!!!

*coughcough* Um, anyway. I will stop spazzing embarrassingly at you now. XD
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:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
Dude, you're incredibly well spoken. I'd love to write with you. *death*

Want me to IM you to talk you into joining something you'll regret? *diesdiesdies*
Reply
:iconhokuto:
hokuto Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
.............. OH YES. *faints*

Um - I'm on a secret SN at the moment that I use for avoiding masses of people, but I can switch over to my normal one, MatenshiHokuto... *runs to do that*
Reply
:iconbaset:
baset Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
I cnat truthfylly comprehend this peice.
My head is reeling formt he consentraitino it took to read deshiper and put to gether..

Im not sure hwat to think. how to feel..
Reply
:iconkiyoshiwithpen:
kiyoshiwithpen Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005
oohhh ! i knew it was about her!! ^__^;;
dunno why..
its just that her dad likes her..
O.O; did she shoot him!
love the frantic part at the end! XD
Reply
:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah, Yayo shot everyone. :heart: I did this piece to explain a little more about her past, I think. xD
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:iconkiyoshiwithpen:
kiyoshiwithpen Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2005
OOOOHH! ^__^;
Reply
:iconkyre77:
kyre77 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005   Interface Designer
I cant see it :(
Reply
:iconiscariotic:
iscariotic Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
The URL should work-- it's just an LJ link. ;o;
Reply
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